Thursday, February 14, 2008

3 Brides

Dracula has always been quite the ladies' man, and you've got to admire that. Who hasn't wanted to immediately seduce that beautiful woman with merely a stare? The ladies swoon and expose delicate body parts in response. Dracula has a thing for necks. That's cool, but personally I wouldn't stop there.

He seems to pick up chicks pretty easily wherever he goes. Sometimes in the movies we see him obsess on the high class lady only to get her horny friend instead. It's the Victorian equivalent of the messy drunken sorority chick at the frat party. You know the type, the big girl with the crush on you whom after a few beers won't stop talking until after you hook up with her and she passes out, but hopefully not before you're done. Dracula is sometimes similarly momentarily distracted for an easy quickie and so he takes his sights off the classy chick until there's inevitably a staking and it doesn't end well for him or the fat chick. Oh, he might get his fangs once on the classy chick but she never fully turns into a vampiress and she turns out to be a big tease in the end, anyway. That's right, go back to your American cowboy or your aristocratic English chap and in 10 years when you wake up and see those wrinkles you can remember how empowering those nascent fangs felt sprouting between your lips and how you never would be needing to slather your skin in heaps of Oil of Olay or whatever you use to keep it supple because you could have had gallons of virgin blood to wallow in.

But back to the subject at hand; his three ladies home at the castle. He usually has some pretty good taste too, probably he's used to getting the choicest Fräuleins back in old Bavaria whilst terrorizing the locale townsfolk until they give them up. Many times he goes for the triple scoop, a blond, brunette and redhead. Drac's the man.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usThe 3 brides that started it all in Dracula (1931). Frankly, it's hard for me to tell if chicks were hot from this era.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usColleen Fitzpatrick, Jeri Ryan and Jennifer Esposito Dracula 2000 in one of Dracula's finest harems.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usThat chick from the frat party?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usThat's supermodel Josie Maran on the left, whom never looked better. Van Helsing (2004).

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usOne of those high-class Victorian ladies whom never quite turn vampiric enough. Dracula Prince of Darkness (1966)

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usFashion model Michaela Bercu, Supermodel/Actress Monica Bellucci, and hot actress Florina Kendrick, Bram Stoker's Dracula (1993)

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usA beautiful bride.