Thursday, December 6, 2007

Pretty Ugly

I wrote the following story (link below) around 1998, or so, when I realized Buffy the Vampire Slayer, like so many other vampire-related TV and movies, was going to be a major disappointment. Here we had a perfect set-up: an attractive troupe of southern California high schoolers fighting vampires. This could have been great. Hot blonde California vampire chicks at the beach wearing bikinis, right? Baywatch with fangs? Not quite. The vampires were all ugly. Really, what were they thinking?

I never really followed the show closely because of that. It was a well-written show and from what little I know, occasionally featured very good-to-great comedy, drama, and even some singing. But I could never get past the ugly vampire-thing. So I wrote this story as a salve to my stinging disappointment and through the use of that old tried-and-true plot device known as the MacGuffin I made the three female leads into pretty vampires.

Speaking of whom, 10 years later who would have thought that at 37 Charisma Carpenter is getting a bit long in the tooth, so to say? And Sarah Michelle needs to be careful if her genes condemn her to the looks of her mom in 20 years. Meanwhile, Alyson Hannigan who had about zero sex appeal back then is looking really cute at 28. But my story gives them fangs, tails, horns and cloven hooves, so they'll always look beautiful. They even wear makeup when they're vamped-out.

Since I re-read the story after almost 10 years, I felt it held up well enough to re-post it. I think the pacing of the dialogue captures the original and although I hesitate to call it fan fiction (having never been a fan, and I wouldn't want to admit to being so nerdy) it probably qualifies as such.

Please be forewarned this story is rated R for adult language, depictions of sex and violence.

Read the story here:
Buffy the Pretty Vampire

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This image of Charisma Carpenter was used to make her even better and is the model for the transformations in my story.

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Buffy was cute, but an ugly vampiress.

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Alyson Hannigan was also an ugly vampiress and what lousy fangs she had! She looks pretty cute these days,though.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The same can be said for From Dusk Til Dawn. They made Salma Hayek ugly. Sh would've made one hott female vampire. But instead, they made her ugly and she only had about a minute of screen time. Talk about wasted vampire potential. I usually love Quentin Tarantino, but he really screwed this up. Or maybe it was Robert Rodriguez's fault.