Friday, January 4, 2008

What Not to Wear

Just because a woman turns into a vampire doesn't mean she has to dress like a trollop. I'm sure there are some changes to her personality once she becomes undead; unresponsive, a cold heart, parasitic, manipulative, conniving and a detached demeanor to name but a few, but that's not all that different from some living women I know anyway. Even so, I just don't see them wholly changing their wardrobe into something resembling a dominatrix stripper. So why do the wardrobe directors in movies do it so frequently?

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Here's the actress Jill Wagner in a recent and egregious example of what I mean. It's from the wonderful, but short-lived TV show Blade: The Series. On the left we see Jill as the beautiful, wholesome woman that she is, while on the right she's in all her vampiric glory from the series. Those are some awesome fangs and I'm very grateful they picked such a pretty woman to be a vampire, but seriously, what the hell is she wearing? What's with the dead animal and those clunky-ass shoes?

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Now, I'm not one to disrespect any pretty woman with fangs and ta-tas like these who posts a picture of herself, but I have to question her choice of spidery unitard as the best fashion choice.

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There's nothing so droll and uninviting as chains, leather and cheesy leftover faux goth-crap from the prop department.

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So as to end on a positive note, here's actress Valerie Gaunt from 1958's Horror of Dracula wearing a classical Greek-inspired gown. Now that's the kind of thing for a proper vampiress to wear.

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